4.30.2007

More Monday Musings

HOLY CRAP! Randy Moss to the Patriots?! WOW! Well, I think that if any coach can inspire respect FROM Randy Moss and coax the best out of him, Belichik can. I also think that Randy thought that Oakland was the “promised land” where he could be Randy the football homey and thug and excel and catch 100 passes for 1000 yards and 16 touchdowns, and it failed. And he might just KNOW that now. Possible that Randy Moss is gonna grow up after seeing the light in an organization like NE? Or is it going to be like TO in Philly, where Donovan McNabb and Andy Reid are quality guys who just couldn’t deal with him? Is Randy like TO? Time will tell. But truthfully, and maybe TO still doesn’t realize this, but when you’re in a quality organization with quality people and a foundation of maturity and success, it breeds more quality in people. And Tom Brady > all the Oakland quarterbacks put together. So I hope that Randy Moss returns to his early form with a new attitude – if it happens anywhere, it’ll happen in NE.

More issues in the Floyd Landis case lately, btw. Interesting fall of a winner. Tour win stipped. Test sample “B” found to have elevated levels of testosterone. But no warrant for sample B to be tested, since sample A didn’t raise any flags. Heresy? Reputation? Much to do with this case…it just won’t go away, people just won’t leave it alone. Like a bit of a witch hunt, but ultimately very suspicious witch if you ask me.

Poor Brady Quinn. Not because he slipped to 22nd in the draft, but because that slip will cost him millions of dollars. So poor Brady Quinn. JaMarcus Russell isn’t going to be a successful as Brady Quinn, in my opinion. I will be prejudiced against the “new generation” of black quarterbacks until one of them proves to be the next Donovan McNabb – a big, strong, mobile, QUARTERBACK, not an athlete who can throw a ball (see: Michael Vick).

Oo, speaking of Michael Vick, after his brother’s problems, after being caught with a secret compartment in a water bottle that smelled like weed, something new in his life: In the last week, Vick's name surfaced when police in Virginia arrested his cousin on drug charges at rural property the quarterback owns. Police reported that during their investigation they found neglected animals and evidence of dog fighting, including veterinary medications, treadmills for training and blood-soaked carpets similar to the ones used in fight pits. Does anyone else think this is a family of thugs? Criminals? They certainly put the “FU” in dysfunctional.

And speaking of families, can we please annoint the Staal family the new Miller or Sutter family - the first family of hockey, or at least teh current one? Eric is a star with Carolina (and a Stanley Cup Champ), Jordan is "scary good" with Pittsburgh, Marc is a defenseman in the Ranger organization, and the baby, Jared, is gonna play junior hockey. Nice retirement planning, MR/MRS Staal. :)

To all the RED SOX fans; it’s okay to crow about taking 5 of the first 6 games against the Yankees. Call me in September and let’s see where we stand, kthx.

4.27.2007

Taking the edge off

So much seriousness going on in the world today...

32 people are shot at Virginia Tech.
The Yankees are mired in a nasty losing streak and here comes Boston.
Democratic presidential debates.
Barry Bonds is approaching the career HR record.

I thought I'd lighten up the mood on a Friday, here are my thoughts on things:

Fabric Softener
My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then I noticed women coming up to me (sniff) 'Married' (walk off). That's how they mark their territory. You can take off the ring, but it's hard to get that April fresh scent out of your clothes.

Morning Differences
Men and women are different in the morning. The men wake up aroused in the morning. We can't help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, 'How can he want me the way I look in the morning?' It's because we can't see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve.

Phone-In-Polls
You know those shows where people call in and vote on different issues? Did you ever notice there's always like 18% that say "I don't know". It costs 90 cents to call up and vote...They're voting "I don't know." "Honey, I feel very strongly about this. Give me the phone. (Into Phone) I DON'T KNOW!" (Hangs up looking proud.) "Sometimes you have to stand up for what you believe you're not sure about." This guy probably calls up phone sex girls for $2.95 to say "I'm not in the mood."

Answering Machines
Did you ever hear one of these corny, positive messages on someone's answering machine? Don't you just want to RUIN THEIR DAY?!
"Hi, it's a great day and I'm out enjoying it right now. I hope you are too. The thought for the day is 'Share the love.'"
Beep.
"Uh, yeah...this is the VD clinic calling....Speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love."

Grandmas
I saw this old lady driving who had a bumper sticker on her car that says, 'Sexy Senior Citizen'. *SHUDDER* You don't want to think of your grandmother that way, do you? Out entering wet shawl contests. Makes you wonder where she got that dollar she gave you for your birthday.

Lastly, I finally figured out why I'm so tired and overworked every day...

The population of this country is 273 million.
140 million are retired.
That leaves 133 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school.
Which leaves 48 million to do the work.
Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government, Leaving 19 million to do the work.
2.8 million are in the armed forces
Which leaves 16.2 million to do the work.
Take from that total the 14.8 million people who work for state and city governments.
And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.
Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.
That leaves just two people to do the work.
You and me.
And there you are, sitting on your butt, at your computer, reading jokes.

4.17.2007

A Prayer for the Hokies


Our thoughts and prayers go out to the victims and their families today. We wish comfort for the whole Virginia Tech community during these difficult times. (Photo courtesy of Instapundit.)

A few random thoughts:

-It took the New York Times just a few seconds to politicize this calling for stricter gun laws. VT has a very strict no gun policy. It did not seem to deter the shooter. Unless we are ready to repeal the Second Amendment, gun control just prevents law abiding citizens from protecting themselves. But then, why would you spend any time with the facts?
-The lawyers are circling. No doubt. Why didn't the University do more sooner? The rush to judge is a stampede. Talking heads who never have to bear the responsibility for making the call tell us with great certainty what the right thing to do was. Showing perfect hindsight just means your head is in your ass...
-The fact is there is nothing to prevent a random act of violence. Especially if, as it was in this case, the perpetrator was fully prepared to die at the end. The best you can do is keep your eyes open and do the best you can under the circumstances.

4.16.2007

Not a Horse Joke in Sight...

Ouch. Go on the road a bit and everything seems to fall apart. Comments on the headlines:

Imus. I am not a big Imus fan. But the fact is, he got nailed for being white. “Nappy headed hos” is mild compared to rap lyrics, but rap artists are (generally) black. I was traveling and I heard an interview on CNN with Robert Johnson, founder of BET. I am not in tune with the guys politics, but he gets kudos for his business achievements. But he lost me when he defended rap artists by saying they are free express themselves ARTISTICALLY, but Imus in not free to express himself POLITICALLY. Oddly, one is protected by the Constitution, the other is not. Care to guess which is?

If you are white, you have no moral authority to talk about race. Which brings us to…

The Duke Hoax. No surprise here. Anyone with half a brain saw this coming from the start. I recommend Jon Stewart's take on all this.

Now the inevitable "did the media rush to judgment?" questions. Well, it is not as if media EVER publishes items without fact checking, in the face of conflicting evidence, that supports its world view. Oh, that's right, this happens all too frequently. There will be no introspection, no changes, no one will be fired.

And it will happen again...this week if the story presents itself.

Number 42. On the 60th anniversary of Jackie Robinson’s debut, many major leaguers are wearing “42” as their number. What a great tribute. Jackie Robinson had to endure real racism unlike that manufactured racism of Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton. He did so with dignity and class, again unlike Jackson and Sharpton.

A fitting tribute to a true pioneer.

My U8 Girls. My Under 8 girls team opened up the season with a full squad indoor game (normally we play split squad outdoors) and a 5 - 1 victory. After shaking off the cobwebs, Princess Tilam scored from her midfield position for our inaugural goal. The other team capitalized on an error on our part. After the half, one of our girls dribbled toward the wrong goal and amidst the confusion, they put a well placed shot in the net. (This same young lady scored twice later on, so she clearly regained her bearings.) The rest was all us.

We dominated possession, but like many games, we could have lost. We missed several "easy" opportunities in the beginning, but as the game tighten up we got off several very nice shots. Four girls scored five goals and only two goals were scored by our "normal" scorers. All-in-all, a fine start.

Back in the Saddle

As we approach a milestone in baseball history, that of the career HR record being broken by Barry Bonds, I tend to wonder why there is so much animosity and negative press/feelings surrounding this. There were negative and racial threats against Hank Aaron back in his day, but those were bigots threatening a black man (albeit a classy and deserving one) for breaking a record of a white man.

No, I wonder why so many people are rooting against Barry and why so many people are "well, he'll break it but we don't have to like it". Then I had an epiphany. It's because he's an asshole.

It's pretty well known that he did steroids, despite the fact that he never tested positive for them. BALCO was probably as advanced in masking them as it was in producing them.
He demeans and gripes incessantly at the media for all this attention.
He's selfish, self-centered, and arrogant.
He's just not a nice guy - or at least his public persona isn't a particularly pleasant one - and we exact our public opinion revenge on him for that.

Mark McGwire was, and is, a really nice guy. He's a diligent father, a good teammate, and a helluva guy. Steroids? Nah, he used andro (which, by the way, enabled this blogger to put on 10 pounds of quality muscle). Our speculation of his steroid use is very mitigated by the simple fact that we really like him.

We don't like Barry Bonds. He suffers in the public opinion poll and this is well earned by the way he interacts with us and the media. So our judgement is especially harsh against him because he has negative faction with his "fans".

Is this necessary? Well, you act like a jerk and you will be treated and judged accordingly. Sorry, but that's the truth.

**********

10 things that pour forth from my mind this Monday morning...

10. The lifestyle in Oregon is way slower, but easier, than Atlanta, GA.
9. Cobi Jones still sux, even at age 37 he's no more useful than he was at 27.
8. The NHL playoffs are basically going the way of the upper seeds - but so far they've been exciting.
7. Carl Pavano will not last past this season with the Yankees - if he makes it that far.
6. Speaking of the Yankees, their injury-plagued rotation will be their achilles' heel (again).
5. Slot machines blow dog, you win money at the tables.
4. Jackie Robinson's courage and playing ability earns him more respect than you could ever muster.
3. Winning money is way better than earning it.
2. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas - but tell your buddies secretly, cuz it's COOL!
1. I have the most wonderful wife in the world, bar none.

4.04.2007

While I'm taking a deep breath to blog...

One of the most addicting and aggravating games...ever! I love it!

If you never find yourself leaning in your chair in hopes that you'll boom a dot, you aren't playing...

Boomshine

Dishonest Politics XXIV

Jim Geraghty over at the Hillary Spot has a quick post on bilingual education. But his criticism misses the point.

Perez is being disingenuous and he knows it. The issue is not about failing to promote second languages to Americans. Bilingual education has the effect of allowing native Spanish speakers to AVOID learning English.

But the joke doesn't sound so funny if the punch line is "an illegal in the Barrio."

4.03.2007

That is Why I am Not on ESPN

I could not have been more wrong if I tried. The Florida-OSU game was over by half-time...just like the BCS Championship. Ohio State might be getting a complex.

All that said, this is how it should have been. The fact that Florida lost some "easy" games shows, in retrospect, a loss of focus, not talent. Hat's off to them.

In other sports news:

1. Yankees bats and bullpen saved Pavano. But A-Rod's error and all the "boos" in the top of the first was the highlight of the game. Good of Jeter to throw one away to make A-Rod feel better.

2. Schilling had a rough go. His control....well, let him tell you. Maybe I am just nuts, but reading him recap a game is like watching 24. Riveting. (Okay, I am officially in complete baseball crazy mode.)

3. Barry Bonds. He will break the record, probably in late-June. Too bad.

4. Back to NCAA Hoops. Billy Donovan becomes one of only four active coaches to have one more then one title. The others: Bobby Knight, Coach K and Jim Calhoun.

5. Peter Crouch scores a "perfect" hat trick for Liverpool against the Arses...I mean Gunners. A perfect hat trick is a left foot, right foot and header. Given the stinginess of goals and the opponent (Arsenal is not some "soon to be regulated" squad), kudos to Crouch.