Attracting Negative Attention

I think that gays have made much progress in their fight for recognition, but they have also done themselves a vast disservice in the manner that they have tried to achieve this, thereby slowing their progress.

"See My, I'm Gay, Deal With It!" Running around trumpeting the fact that your GAY AND FABULOUS (said with the proper lisp), drawing attention to your differences, cramming your gay-ness down peoples' throats, I think isn't quite the way to go about things. I used to work at one of the top Telecommunications companies, and probably 1/3 or our IT staff, centered on the DBA's for some reason, was gay. One of them, in particular, was VERY gay. Gaydar alarm gay. Grab the fire extinguisher gay. But (I'll call him) Dean was also a really fun guy, professional, had a great sense of humor, made me laugh, and was a quality DBA with a great knowledge of technical aspects and a focus on the customer, and we became good friends. Forcing people to acknowledge your homosexuality by shoving it into their faces (into their "personal space") makes them uncomfortable, and by doing this you foster a reaction of scorn. If you were much more subtle and pleasant and matter of fact about being gay, and your announcements and trumpeting of your love of the same sex were not plastered on page one of the newspaper, you'd find that people wouldn't feel so...well, threatened is not the true word here, but I'm going to use it anyway. Shouting on the rooftops that you're gay is making the huge issue of it, thereby causing a chain reaction where others make a huge deal of it, albeit on the negative side of acceptance. One of the reactions you have to consider is the fact that the more in their face you are about being gay, the more your audience will worry about the fact that you're going to prey on them sexually. Your behavior goes a long way in programming and determining the reaction of the people you tell.

"You're different, Deal with it" Differences, personalities, and behavior which are NOT "normal" in society, and frankly religious circles, are going to be frowned upon. Gays want to be recognized but they don't want people to think they are different - which in fact, they are. The natural human reaction among many people (the unelightened ones?) is to segregate and criticize behavior that is seen as different. So understand that you're different, non-standard, and that there are going to be some difficulties in getting people to accept you; but there will be difficulties, and you have to understand that in accepting you for "who you are" people are going to go through some stages, the first of which is usually "IEWWW, yer a fag, get away from me?".

Be patient. I'm sure that you can gain full acceptance and recognition, but if you push the issue according to a "we want it NOW" attitude all you are going to get in return in push back. See: black rights, women's suffrage, the designated hitter.