Hmm, where to start...
NHL
You people are STOOPID! Let's face it, when your major hockey night games are being outdrawn by Nordic Curling, it is NOT a good time to go on strike. %5 of the highest earning players are holding the entire league hostage, I bet. Shut up and get a deal done. NHL is now unofficially crippled as a viable sport in the US. It took MLB 10 years to recover from their strike, you are on life support, trust me - except in Canada.
Tiger Wooods
In a slump. But not because his golf game sux, but because he's focused on life outside of golf...ie, Elle Nordegren (don't start me about how distracting she can be!). Jack (no last name needed) went 12 majors without a win during one stretch in his life; why? Because he married Barbara and started his family. It's understandable. So do the family thing, Tiger, and come back to the PGA with that killer instinct again, Thew knows you'll find it. Also, I hate Vijay, I'm already tired of seeing his face at the top of the world rankings (anyone who disses Annika...)
The Yankees
You gave it up. Choked. Coughed up a hairball. Do the Sawx remind you of anyone you might remember from years past? Yep, the 1998 Yankees. Resilient. Character players. Mentally tough players from top to botton (well, except Knoblauch). Time to get ready for next year.
King George
OMG, DON'T PANIC! Don't talk to Pedro, he's nothing but a washed up smack talking pitcher who's going to cost you too many dollars; and as for sticking it to the Bosox, win the series, start another curse for Boston. Leiber is worth keeping, make sure he's still around next year, but NOT for 8 million. Beltran is a great player, but he's WAY over priced based on one good season. SAVE THE MONEY FOR PITCHING! Keep Posada! Bring back Tino, DUMP Giambi. Ever since Giambi got off the sauce (the marinara sauce, riiiiight), he's been a lesser player imo. Javier Vasquez is an up and comer, he's got good stuff, he just needs a little more consistency and confidence, keep him around. I'm torn on the Big Unit...but I say if you can get for a fair price, GET HIM!
Maurice Clarett
So you are angry at Ohio State for what they did? You want to stay in the headlines? You want to make money with appearance fees telling your "dirty college" story? PUHLEEZE. Shut up and practice so you can get drafted in the 6th round of the NFL draft. STFU. When you're a factor in the NLF, when you're shredding pro players like you *cough* did in college, then you can crow. Otherwise, stfu and prepare for your next career - as a gas station attendant. You will be irrelevant in 3 years, a card carrying member of the ryan leaf group of ex-NFLers who are now invisible and done.
Shaq
You are certainly the biggest thing to hit Miami in a long time, that's for sure. But you won't win a championship with the Heat. Sorry.
Kobe
How can a young man from such a great family hoops tradition turn into such a primadonna? Such a petulant selfish crybaby? I don't know either.
P Diddy
Get a real nickname. WTF is "p diddy"? Heck, I like "puffy" better. At least as "puffy" you got JLo.
Vikings
OMG, someone fix Randy Moss quickly. We suck without him. Oh wait, we can score, it's our DEFENSE that sucks!
NFL
Young QB's who are the real deal - Leftwich, Roethliesberger, Carr (if they ever put a team around him). I hope Eli Manning falls FLAT ON HIS FACE...well, for a while. I hate people who dictate draft trades cuz they don't wanna play for a team - oh wait, John Elway did it you say? Yep, and I hated him at first. Then he paid his dues, played hard, earned our respect, and finished with 2 super bowl victories. The verdict is still out on Manning (either Manning, I should say). Heck, did the Manning family EVER win a super bowl?
College Football and the BCS
Umm, who cares?
College Hoops...
Be still my beating heart. College hoops season draweth nigh...
Okay, that's enuf for now...I have typers cramp and need to draw a breath.
Thew
"if you think the price of knowledge is too high, think about the price of ignorance"
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