3.08.2006

Take a DEEP breath and get ready to spew Thew!

The auto-flush toilet...let it NEVER be said that this blog tackles ONLY esoteric topics, we cover the entire gamut of human existence. But Thew, in his high and mighty wisdom, will not wax upon this subject, as I cannot remember the last time I put my hands on a public toilet; call me an old soccer god, but the foot flushes just as easily as the hand with 1% of the germs. Besides, WHO CRAPS IN PUBLIC bathrooms anyway?! Mrs Thew told me that her arse never touches the seat in a public restroom, she just squats and aims...sort of. (Hey, kinda like...oh, sorry, TMI!) If it ain't the Crown Room, or a high quality hotel, then my poo will not grace the toilet sides - I shall remain a hold out until I can defecate in my own personal loo. 'Nuff said.

Okay, on to other stuff...

Reddick is tired. The bench is not deep, JJ has to play a ton of minutes. And he's showing a little wear and tear this late in the season. If I had to vote for a PotY, well, I'd split my vote - Rudy Gay is, of course, OUT. He is too soft, not aggressive enough. Talent through the roof, OMG, but no killer instinct. Adam Morrison get's my nod over Reddick because he creates a buttload of his own shots with his skill. Reddick gets my nod over Morrison because he is the best pure shooter in the land. And since Tilam is going to badge me until I fall off the fence one way, I'll go with Morrison with a RRCH of a margin.

Let's SLAM Tilam. So Kirby kept his demons quiet during his career? Well, hell, so did Pete Rose. We didn't hear about his gambling problems until AFTER he retired as a full time player. Duh...wtf is your point here? But that aside, I can't think of a person who played with more passion, enjoyment, verve, and treated those around him like friends and family, more than Kirby Puckett. A man who took a chess players body and became an all-star and World Series hero. Regardless of his personal issues, he was a player (and based on his extra-cirriculars, a player in more than the baseball sense of the word) and the baseball world is a sadder and diminished place from his passing.

Michelle Wie...RANKED #3?! Where the HELL did this number come from? She didn't win in Juniors, she hasn't won on the LPGA, and hasn't even MADE THE CUT at a men's event! So she finished in the top ten a few weeks ago, BFD! Her 2nd place standing going into the LPGA last year was followed by a Jason Gore like phenomenal collapse into obscurity on the final day. THAT is not indicative of the 3rd ranked player in the world. My gosh, she's not even in my top 10 LPGA hotties list (hellooooooo, Natalie Gulbis). So as I meander through this topic, I think of two possibilities: either the LPGA FUBARED the rankings because the new commish and her ranking team are a bunch of morons, or they put her 3rd to create controversy, excitement, opinions, and consequently...publicity. Personally, I think they are morons. Now, she MIGHt be ranked #3 in EGO without success and hype without results, much like Bode Miller and this year's Olympics, but #3 in the LPGA? I wonder who she blew tew get almost to tew, it sure wasn't Thew.

Barry Bonds...okay, what Grizzly Adams, no city livin', cave dweller is NOT surprised by this new news of his steroid use?! Jeebus! But here's another point - before he started juicing, he was 400/400 HR/SB already, and had won 3 MVP's. So he was ALREADY a playa. But what happened was the ego went south, and he decided to juice up his power, so that when a fantastic hitter got solid contact, it went yard. We forget that Mark McGwire hit 49 HR's as a rookie in 1988. So he just got bigger and better, but he was already good. Barry Bonds was already at the top of the heap, so to do what he did for the reasons listed in that book is incredible. Does he get into the HoF? Here we go again. I'm going to sit on my personal commode (see above) and ruminate upon this subject until more public information becomes available. But you AGAIn get into the sticky discussion of personality vs performance. If this is true, I'd vote Pete Rose into the HoF before Barry Bonds, because Pete's numbers are pure, he just gambled on baseball. Bonds' numbers are tainted, increased and juiced by artificial means. He would have been a Hall of Famer if he'd just continued at the same pace before 1999. So okay, I'll vote him my asswipe of the week.

On the serious subject of Roe v Wade, I have to pretty much agree with Tilam. How far do government entities (federal or state) intrude into our personal space and physical being has always been a heated debate. Mostly because Tilam and I have known each other for a long time and have had a great many discussions about this over a barley beverage, I have to pretty much agree with him. Sticky subject, very personal, I HATE to get into this in public. Too many time the federales try to intrude upon our very personal decisions, and that chaps my ass. So I'll pass over this one...

The other day I received my SI Swimsuit Issue. You know, maybe it's old age (though I doubt it), but I'm just no longer impressed with that. Too many pictures of skinny, emaciated, not-very-attractive models (well, some of them) - although the cover with all the ex-models was great. Elle, Rachel, Rebecca, they are all healthy and have a proper amount of body, not some 1 piece of bread and lettuce eatin' bulimic bich body. Rachel Hunter has vaulted her way onto my top 10 list...especially if you've ever seen the video for "Stacie's Mom" - woof woof!

Carolina, still at the top of the NHL.
Yankees, still the favorite of the AL East.
T-Wolves, back into the cellar, watch for KG to sulk and the team to miss the playoffs.
Vikings, the poster boys for underachievers.

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