"What a drag it is getting old" - Mick Jagger

Tilam takes a bit of liberty with the cooler things about growing old, but I'll forgive him for a bit of poetic license. Being an adult is very cool - much more complicated but much more free than being a child. It's nothing for Mrs Thew to whisk me to Vegas for a weekend of entertainment, which we can do because we are adults with jobs and the bills are paid - try doing this as a kid.

I also agree with the "pressure" of getting older being harder on women than men. We shallowly hold women to a high standard of beauty even as they get older, hoping that they will continue to have the body of Jessica Simpson until they are 90.

Of course, the BIG questions following Tilam's shameless self-plug: Is Mrs Tilam's name Rosie, maiden name Palm?

Okay, without further adieu, here is Thew's list of the top 10 things I !@#$#%*&@#$@%!-ing HATE about growing old.

Teenage Children - here's something that will give you gray hair in a jiffy. Holy SHIT were we that nuts when we were kids?!
Objects of Affection - all the hotties on my top 10 list are young enough to be my daughter!
Over the Hill Athletes - all the guys on the "downside" of their career or "ready for retirement" are YOUNGER THAN ME!
Nose Hair - what the hell, did someone pour miracle grow in my nostrils last night?
Foreplay - it's takes twice as long because it takes TWICE AS LONG TO GET GOING!
Metabolism - Regular is no longer a type of gasoline, it's what I strive for when I think about "quality time".
Ear Hair - those cute little fuzzy hairs on the end of your ear turn to full on piano wire weeds!
Two Words - "complete physical" - hey doc, why don't you tell me WHAT I'M THINKIN! if you're checking for cavities, I already have a dentist, thanks!
Six Pack - ahhh, fond memories of my tight waistline - some days I feel like the stunt double for the Michelin Man.
Good luck making nasty! - during the younger years, it was try-weekly, then in the good years it was try-weekly, now for many of you poor souls it's simply try-weakly...