8.15.2007

A tribute to a Great Man

In deference to Cheers, I present you readers with the top "Normisms" of the show:

1. "What's the story, Norm?"
"Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another beer."

2. "Can I pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?"
"A little early, isn't it, Woody?"
"For a beer?"
"No, for stupid questions.

3. "Hey Norm, how's life in the fast lane?"
"Don't know, can't find the on-ramp."

4. “Can I draw you a beer, Mr. Peterson?”
“No, Woody, I know what one looks like, just pour me one.”

5. "Hey Mr. Peterson. How are things?"
"Never been better, Woody...but just once I wish they'd get better.”

6. "Whatcha know, Norm?"
"I know how to sit. I know how to drink. Wanna quiz me?"

7. “How's life treating ya Mr. Peterson?”
“Like he caught me in bed with his wife Woody…how ‘bout a beer.”

**********

1. "What's shaking, Norm?"
"All four cheeks & a couple of chins."

2. "What's new, Normie?"
"Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach & they're demanding beer."

3. "What'd you like, Normie?"
"A reason to live. Give me another beer."

4. "What'll you have, Normie?"
“Well, I'm in a gambling mood Sammy. I'll take a glass of whatever comes out of the tap."
"Looks like beer, Norm."
"Call me Mister Lucky."

5. "Hey Norm, how's the world been treating you?"
"Like a baby treats a diaper."

6. "What's the story, Mr. Peterson?"
"The Bopsy Twins go to the brewery. Let's cut to the happy ending."

7. "What's going on, Mr. Peterson?"
"A flashing sign in my gut that says, 'Insert beer here'."

8. "Whatcha up to, Norm?"
"My ideal weight…if I were eleven feet tall."

9. "How's it going, Mr. Peterson?"
"Poor."
"I'm sorry to hear that."
"No, I mean pour."

10. “Whatcha know, Mr. Peterson?”
"Women...can't live with 'em...pass the beer nuts."

11. "What's going down, Normie?"
"My butt cheeks on this bar stool."

12. "Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?"
"Alright, but stop me at one...make that one-thirty."

13. "How's it going, Mr. Peterson?"
“It's a dog eat dog world, Woody & I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear."

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