Why did they invent a game and call it "golf"?

Cuz by that time, the word "fucked" was already taken! HaHaHa

Tilam comes up with some TRULY insightful points here. I would have never considered the astrolabe/sextant (I would have thought sextant was one step beyond menage a trois, frankly) in my list, which is a great item for Tilam to include. Same with a couple of others, although Metallurgy is a double edged sword (pardon the pun), while gunpowder is a "woowee for fireworks" it's also a "INCOMING Ordnance" argument - pretty sure the Chinese intended the former, everyone else decided to add the latter as a quality use for the compound. So as I run through my own list, I actually found that I had a few granular categories into which I could lump my choices:

Communications

The Telephone
The telephone is an instrument that converts voice and sound signals into electrical impulses for transmission by wire to a different location, where another telephone receives the electrical impulses and turns them back into recognizable sounds.

The Computer
There are many major milestones in the history of computers, starting with 1936, when Konrad Zuse built the first freely programmable computer. Kudos to Al Gore for inventing peer to peer communication via a large network; the internet is for porn!

Television
In 1884, Paul Nipkow sent images over wires using a rotating metal disk technology with 18 lines of resolution. Television then evolved along two paths, mechanical based on Nipkow's rotating disks, and electronic based on the cathode ray tube. American Charles Jenkins and Scotsman John Baird followed the mechanical model while Philo Farnsworth, working independently in San Francisco, and Russian émigré Vladimir Zworkin, working for Westinghouse and later RCA, advanced the electronic model.

The Printing Press
The printing press was the first one of many communication mediums, changing how information was collected, stored, retrieved, criticized, discovered, and promoted. It has been implicated in the Reformation, the Renaissance and the Scientific Revolution. Centerfolds sure would be hard to pull off without it. Mmm, centerfolds...

Transportation

The Automobile
In 1769, the very first self-propelled road vehicle was invented by French mechanic, Nicolas Joseph Cugnot. However, it was a steam-powered model. In 1885, Karl Benz designed and built the world's first practical automobile to be powered by an internal-combustion engine. In 1885, Gottlieb Daimler took the internal combustion engine a step further and patented what is generally recognized as the prototype of the modern gas engine and later built the world's first four-wheeled motor vehicle.

Da Plane, Da Plane
Bicycle manufacturers, the Wright brothers, accomplished the first motorized flight in 1903 while British engineer Frank Whittle filed the first patent for a jet engine in 1930. Parallel tests in Germany made that country the first to fly a jet-powered plane, the Heinkel He 178, in 1939. Thirty years later, the Boeing 747 Jumbo jet made international air travel fast, comfortable and affordable -- just don't tell that to the passengers of the Concorde.

The Steam Engine
Thomas Savery was an English military engineer and inventor who in 1698, patented the first crude steam engine. Thomas Newcomen invented the atmospheric steam engine in 1712. James Watt improved Newcomen's design and invented what is considered the first modern steam engine in 1765. Normally I'd say "big whoop" on this, but the impact to current and future transportation simply cannot be discounted.

Quality of Life

The Laser
Forty years after Einstein drew up the concept of the stimulation of light waves, a doctoral student earned a patent on Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation (LASER) and the resulting beam to cut, heat and measure. Consumers love lasers thanks to CD players and laser printers. Doctors love lasers because they simplify and quicken cosmetic and eye surgery. Scientists love lasers for their precision and power. We love lasers because of faster lines at the beer store.

The Light Bulb
Contrary to popular belief, Thomas Alva Edison didn't "invent" the light bulb, but rather he improved upon a 50-year-old idea. In 1809, Humphry Davy, an English chemist, invented the first electric light. In 1878, Sir Joseph Wilson Swan, an English physicist, was the first person to invent a practical and longer-lasting electic lightbulb (13.5 hours) with a carbon fiber filament. In 1879, Thomas Alva Edison invented a carbon filament that burned for forty hours.

Penicillin
Not truly an "invention" but a discovery, I thought I'd include it by using a little poetic license. Penicillin was discovered by Alexander Fleming in 1928. Andrew Moyer patented the first method of industrial production of penicillin in 1948.


Honorable Mentions
The radio (who can forget "fireside chats" with the president)
Velcro (don't even ask)
The cotton gin (HUGE impact to life)
The distllation process (without this, Tilam could never pay me the victory beer he inevitably owes me after we play golf)
The post-it note (how else would Mrs Thew remind me of my Honey-Do's?)
The microwave (for when I'm in the doghouse and need to re-heat dinner)
Lingerie (WOO for sexi undi's)
The use of electricity (again, not an invention but a harnessing, but still, where would we be without it?)
Indoor Plumbing (and considering that I roomed with Tilam at one point, the bathroom fan)

And in homage to sexist male chauvanistic males all around the world, as I browsed the internet for nominees I found, listed in the top 10 inventions of all time on AskMen.com. The Pill:
This mixture of two hormones that suppress ovulation unleashed a sexual and social revolution. Overnight, women gained effective control over their fertility, smashing constraints on women's sexual freedom. We love the Pill.